Biggiesmokes

A story of a lifetime change.

23 posts in this topic

A story of a life time.

 

Sometimes life does not go the way you want it to go, you have such great plans in mind yet they do not workout or you don't even get near those plans.
This is was happend to me and still happening to day in fact, Life is a pondering thing just like a river it keeps moving with newer fish swimming inside of it.
this might not be the right forum to tell this on yet again i think my intellectual expierence en observation might me helpfull to people who wish to seek them selfs.
i am noticing allot of things latetly, do you feel it ? Something completely off something so strange that you cannot describe the feeling screaming out yet you cannot put it
into context. It's a sign, a sign of change, but where is this change that we feel. Is it evolution ? i thought on first hand, no it is not.
This change is in fact global it is world wide and you are seeing,feeling,hearing every single second of it, Some may say that change is a good thing i leave that to be arguemental.
In my opinion the change that we feel is not good, Note all the messed up things that are happening in the world wich you know that stand against every fiber in your body.... But this is neither
the change that is happening. When you ask yourself what is going on with the world ? you cannot give the slightest honest awnser to yourself, i see personaly that allot of people judge or critize
other humans without even flincing, Ask yourself not why but HOW.

Change is not comming it's already happening you cannot turn a blind eye on people who are changing not for the greater good. I notice allot of things that are so weird so strange that i cannot
alaborate on these subject merely speculate in some what words to describe what is going on, yet we all know that there are things going on that we do not know about a somewhat ( conspiracy)
yet again i am not wanting to talk about theories but about my own encounters.

The human race is rather predictble there for you have people who specialize in human behavior... Fact is that 9 out of 10 people behave in the exact same way.
but this is exactly the subject i am wanting to alaborate on. Human behavior, I am sure you know what i am talking about.... Because i can feel the connection of understanding.
The change is not where you think it is it's not Earth, It's not the universe but it's ourself.... We need to lay responsibility on actions that we do and things that we teach...
I am a lone nut ha ha i am completely honest, yet again i like to believe that i am not usual person who goes out with friends and drinks untill the fall. I am the person who is willing to be
intellectual and willing to learn things about others and myself... There for i went digging into A story of a life time, I remember every single big event that happend in my life... From the Twin towers falling down.
Untill my first soccer goal, These are the things that we should look at just dualy note that past is a huge clue in changing for a greater good, ( remember the past learn in the future).
I like to discuss with myself  because you have no clue how such a thinker i am, i think outside the box every single time a burden that has become to good use. I know for a fact that i am not as other people
i am a radical thinker logical thinking for me ain't really a option for me haha. But enough about me, the thing i am hinting at is that you see more and more children with apple iphones or baby who watch tv.
Not saying it is a bad thing but it's exactly where it starts i have seen young kids grow in a matter of years that they almost seem older then me, Not that i am old but still i don't go looking for these things but it catches a eye.
I note that there is so much change in the teenagers that they do so much messed up stuff for ....... ATTENTION........ and this is where  the change ends and begins... I have seen 16 year old suicide and leaving a note on youtube, i have seen 23 year olds drinking to there death
because of a Facebook game, I have seen angry comments because despise the person who puts a photo on that has been photoshoped, Well please excuse me for my alaboration on Social media but it's a fact that this is part of a change that is only mind casping our young ones,

Now i can say that i have changed aswell. I have changed to not care anymore, what other people think about me... because when i did i got sick myself.
I stopped caring about the world because the world is getting to arrogant, To all the people who have the decentsy to believe intheselfs hear what i have to say. Believe only in yourself because where the past
screwed you over the first time the future will remember.

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You are not alone Biggiesmokes - trust me many of us feel exactly the same way.  I have separated myself from friends and family (although the situations appear that they dumped on me) and have extended myself so far out of the everyday loop even I am not sure where I am most of the time.  Just sitting back, waiting, waiting - in fact I have nearly even given up on waiting too.  Cannot get involved in the bullshit of life and how some people live theirs.  They say that things always get worse before they get better, or that it is always darkest before the dawn.  I sure hope that's true.  LOL

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Wow Biggie-- well said- and hang in there, it is coming- it is here- the changes- you too Jess-

 

I have been feeling like this for a long time now, just this last week I have been up and down like a bloody yoyo with my moods- depressed, then angry, then sad, then calm and having an inner knowing that it is all coming to a head and things will be alright real soon.

 

I am a hermit, have been for years now, dont go anywhere, dont see anyone, and most of the time I dont care either- but then I feel lonely for my true love, I know she is out there somewhere but(prolly on a different planet) there seems to be this wall between us- those of you who are in a relationship are lucky.

 

Some might say it is all self inflicted,that I hide away from the world coz I am grumpy or intolerant, well sometimes they might be right. Mostly it is coz I just see through people like a pain of clear glass- or feel them- their energy- I hate the way Mother Earth is being treated, I hate the way most people behave, and I deel with constant pain from a bad back and now osteo in my hip.

 

It feels like forever I have been waiting for these changes to get here-they cant happen quick enough for me- I want the whole World to be a much better place-NOW- but in this reality it is I who has to learn(remember) to be patient- I feel like it is killing me- hurting my soul- hurting my true spirit to be here and have to put up with all the shit- I'm over it.

 

If I could snap my fingers and all the psyco's and parasites and their little minions would cease to exist, with all their high tech they use against us and the Planet --well I would do it in a heart beat--

 

There are many of us here now to help the transition, a lot of beings are watching, Mother Earth is shaking the rot off- she deserves to be put back right, If I fall off during the shake, I dont care, at least I was here to see it happen.

 

Most all people around me are so distracted and burried in their transhumanism I doubt they would look up from their screens if a genuine UFO parked over their fucking head.

 

Nick-

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I would like to help lift the vibration in this thread by suggesting that these challenges could be seen as opportunities for personal growth. I have turned some of my frustrations into a way of seeing myself and realising that my thoughts and old beliefs are the reasons for the things and people I didn't like in my life. Some has fallen away and the remaining doesn't affect me like it used to because the old belief behind it has changed.

 

Another thing to consider is that people behave in a certain way because of belief systems such as 'unworthiness' and 'I am unloved'. Change the belief and your reality will change with it. I feel the opposite about these earth changes. It makes me feel excited because I see more people opening up, persuing their joy and seeking what is true for themselves over what they have been taught.

 

@triton I feel for you, I'm a bit of a hermit myself. Remember that we only have the Now and that means you need to be able to feel good with what is in this moment if you want the reality you desire to manifest.

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Changing your personality seems like a walk in the park, yet you have to remember that you cannot change who you are you can only change certain aspects of yourself, I have tried it and seem to fall back into old habbits which i know i can live without. Some might say that the changes in life are easy but in reality they are not peopel are mostly blinded by how lucky they got in life and try to lecture other people about there expiernce, In my case i did had a messed up life well still its not perfect but i can deal with the things now, some still hurt and some still burn, yet i have to deal with the pain and i am accepting it as a learning procces every day. Triton as you stated it is indeed easy to see through people i have that same aspect aswell and you feel negativity i know how it feels i know the burden  of being judged, thats just it!! What makes them feel so up rightous to judge you or me ? Nothing does.

and that is how i life is.... it's a game where you are in a need of a know when to fold and a need of a know when to raise your chips, this is just one cruel example of how the reality is, still once you see good intellectual people who arent thinking about these things these are the people that are my roll models which i take a stand for and proudly can say i want to be just like you.

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Nice to see you on the forum again biggie :)  and thanks for sharing.

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It is not a change of personality. You are not your personality, this is a limited perception of self. Your reality is dictated by your perception, which is tainted by your conditioned beliefs. Your beliefs are simply tools through which you choose to 'filter' and 'select' experience through. You are the master of your situation but you can also choose to forget that you are the master.

 

I am only offering here another perspective :) , take it or leave it as you will.

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Unbelievable..I just lost a huge post of stuff.....groan.

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Damn it...start again

I cant even remember what I said before, but I just wanted to say that I too am a loner, well I am a "reality intellectual loner"...hmm might even swap some words around there , but there is no human on this planet that I can easily get together with to have a chat about the truths of this planet and her inhabitants .

I had a lovely coffee morning with Mesmerise, but she seems to have dropped off the radar for a while, I met a lady nearby once who was into the CT world but was an unmedicated loon.

My family and friends don't really allow me to talk of CT,s because its all BS and they are world experts of BS.

I swear I can see people roll their eyes if I try to approach a subject, even something as obvious/strange as MH370, I never try to talk to them about vaccinations...don't need to as my FB page is full of it...lol, Im sure they all block it though.

My mind now is not to convince them, if they are to awaken it will be because they are ready, not because of anything I have said.

I sorta don't even care, I have managed to separate myself from their shallowness and fear.

Here is how the day started for me..

My eldest sons 24th b.day

4.20

Adolf Hitlers B.day..we don't celebrate his B.day but he would be 125 years old today

easter (whatever)

My youngest son posts on FB that he admits he suffers from depression and he has just lost his licence for drink driving...0.024. At that level he probably only had a beer or two , but he is on his provisional liceince so that means he sucks up to the Judge, I am happy he has finally admitted his depression, he can now get real help. I have something rolled for him when he gets home.

My nephew who suffers from Autism and profound tourettes was delivered to hospital yesterday to "help him keep safe" , the doctor tried to medicate him with Valium so they could put him into a induced coma but he had a paradoxical effect to the valium and completely lost the plot...which he had already lost...so the doctors sent him home...in a complete psychotic state . he is 20 and nearly 6 foot , his Mum is about 5 foot.

My sister has cancer of the girls business kind and has had it "cut out" , she is now suffering from an infection.

If people would have listened to me in the first place.......

I live in the bush for a reason

But im going down to S.A to have a hot affair with Triton.

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As i have learned not every human being is perfect and every household has it´s cross meaning every single family life with ups and downs, fortunately i can make out of these reply´s of my post that you guys are not quitters, even though we see the darkest of days we still see a glimpse of the sun..... I am intrigued by this Forum to see the bright people come forward and state here there story with deep meanings and wisdom of there own personal experience,  nonetheless this was my intention so other people know that they are not the only ones who have mood changes or feel exhausted from nothing,

we can change by opening our hearts being social to one a another and do not forget like (Atlantis) to take friendship over money and wealth.

 

 

Thank you.

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Imelda, can I come too? : :)

Of course you can

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I think that is why we are all here, we have all had a lifetime change or 2 or 3 that has occured.

 

I read your post yesterday Biggie and came back this morning to re read it again, which i did and the posts that followed, i felt every word written by all of you, and have spent  most of the day contemplating my navel, from the inside out.

I marvel at our resilience, is it because we are so bloody minded and won't let go? Self preservation? Or is it that we recognise part of our true selves and want to finish what we came to do this time.

 

Whatever it is,  we find ourselves here and sharing a part of ourselves, it is a key element in being a part of a family, we need to understand each other, and what i have always found wonderful is we can be so different from one another and yet we share the same frustrations, our physical pain, and what i feel the most is the emotional aspect.

We all stand on different mountains, but when we feel anothers emotions and pain we become one and the same. To know that we never stand alone, to me that means no judging, acceptance of who we are no matter what.

 

I see that I am in good company with those that have lived lives, and been knocked down and got back up again. But some blows can take a while to fade or heal

or even to come to terms with,  painful reminders creep in, then i remind myself that the experience that brought shock and horror to my personal life turned into one of those transformations that i marvel at, it was not an overnight transformation for it is still unfolding like the most vibrant of flowers blooming in spring, what i learned through watching this happen that the person healing needs to talk, and not fear what others my think, in fact it opened up a lot of opportunity for the person to  help others and there were lots of them. It blew my mind, and someone's suffering became a healing path for themselves and others.

 

The other event in my life took my breath away and left me numb for a long time, at the age of 50 my husband had a stroke, life brought new challenges for me, he can no longer work at what he loved and excelled at, a lateral thinker who's mind never stopped even when he was asleep, he would problem solve while asleep.

Couldn't sit still if he tried, worked long hours, and rarely took holidays.

He hates not being able to work and to his way of thnking being useful.

As an exercise just for an hour or 2 remove all descriptive words, peoples names, and the ability of being able to write a sentence, it is challenging every day for him and me.

 

I am his chauffer which bores his to tears, his interpreter, it's a constant game of charades, but there are worse things in life, could have lost him altogether.

 

And u are so right Biggie, we are not quiters, we just have to keep moving forward.

 

But there are surprises in life, i consider myself lucky, i am here, i appreciate those that post and impart knowledge that you have or have unearthed, and i really love the banter and fun i see in the shout box and the amazingly funny things posted, because i do like to laugh, sometimes that is my sanity leveler.

 

Thanks Biggie

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Don't mention it at all Landdownunder aswell for everyone we all should be able to talk about this subject, and i am in need to thank you aswell. 

Thank you :)

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Thanks guys, this is a great thread with insightful comments. I love these type of threads on Chani. It makes us bond closer. :nicethread:  :hug: 

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indeed they do Acolyte, yet the main goal to reach out is to let people read how you think so they can contemplate with you and make there own opinion or in this case making there own little story out it, these are the people we admire and adore, these are the people who are wanting to change for the greater good, these are the people who you can learn from without going to any  school. For all that it takes is a forum like Chani to bring like minded people together... Now just Imagen what it would look like if we all would bring all the harmonic energy to a stand, i wonder what the world would look like, I have been completely honest about my experience and notifications in changes that are happening. Still this is my safe haven of things that are happening or somewhat of a notebook or a diary, I wish to share and to make the world better by waking the people up who are not woken yet. But i don't feel like a super hero by making theories or having to doubt every single media story that you hear.... yet the truth may set you free, there for even superheroes need sidekicks....

 

 

Love all to Chani, Huzaaaaa

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Thanks Biggie, you are most welcome,

 

and couldn't agree with u more about the harmonic energy, and what we can do with it, i believe in it with my being, and i believe it can and will happen. But it requires our hearts and sheer guts to emerge and it starts with but one person!!!!!!

It can be just one thought away, to start it rolling,

 

Taking negative and turning into so many positives on a human level, giving of one's self can give hope and relieve pressure on self, and those that surround us.

 

Do we need super hero's? I think i would like a whole heap of ordinary people working to make things happen, team work.

 

Diamonds are formed under great pressure. Lots of Diamonds visit this place.

 

 

 

So how much do we appreciate Chani, what can we achieve here, what ever we so desire.

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:- You Ladies of Fire are Awesome- and all the other Chani Family(blokes LOL)---Imelda :lol: Deekin :lol: --Naughty Naughty,

 

I want to say sorry to all the Chanites for my bad moods lately, its been a bit full on here with the Easter crowd of blow ins at the park where I live- lots of noise-lots of people- lots of NO sleep for me which stresses me out and thats not good for my back or my wonky hip.

 

I think at this time also the full Moon-blood Moon thingy and all the fluctuations in the energy has drained me a fair bit, sometimes if I let my control of my mind go- its like I can feel my life force ebbing away- I feel like I want to give up and leave this timeline-world- space.

 

Dealing with pain on a constant 24 hour a day 365 days a year has its toll- it hardens you or it kills you- yes I used to suffer depression a lot- and really bad too- but many years ago(after trusting doctors) I got off all the drugs(anti depressants) which they tried to control me with-yes all the "good" ones like zoloft-prozac- dothiepian- endep- I started to realize they could not beat me.

 

I cleaned myself out of all the crap-and it took years to do it- those drugs are so insidious-- I knew I was much stronger than they were trying to get me to believe- I woke up again after being suppressed for so many years by Parents-school- jobs -society-this world(or that world-coz I'm not in their world any more)-- I started to go back to where I left off-sort of a rewind if you will-- when I was a small child in Sunday school I can remember (see myself) sitting on the floor with all the other kids listening to the "father" tell all this bullshit- I knew it was bullshit and was confused coz I thought I was supposed to trust this religious person-- I had so many questions for my Mother on the drive's home I think she decided to not take me any more LOL.

 

I have always been Empathic- I can feel emotions of people and animals- even the country or forests or bush(as we in OZ call it)

I know when someone is lying, I can feel their intentions- was very sensitive  as a child coz I was sucking in every bodys feelings and emotions and I did not quite understand it all-most of the time I thought they were my feelings- well I now know that is not the case.

 

I have learnt to shrug off the feelings of others- I can read them and then shake it off- I'm sure all the depression was actually others feelings and emotions and the vibrations of Mother Earth I was sucking in, thinking it was all mine-- not any more.

 

This is getting difficult to type all this out-- lack of sleep over the past week and back and hip giving me grief and my eyes are not focused properly- so many mistakes- I have re writen paragraphs so many times now- just have so many things I want to express but I am having trouble getting my true feelings out- something I have always had problems with in this life- I wish I had all my telepathic powers and abilities back- it would be so much easier.

 

Of late I have been having some trouble dealing with the waves of energy coming into this world and solar system- I know it is all good in the end- but the parasites have really ramped up their technology against us-- I knew they would- they are not going to leave with out a huge fight.

 

I get really evil thoughts sometimes- I know I am eternal- I have been around for a very long time- an ancient soul if you will--I have had enough- I would exterminate certain beings in a heart beat- with extreme prejudice and no mercy, I have been through it all before- I want to get off this merry go round now- I think(feel) there is a lot of "life " energy out there that is feeling the same way and thats why all the things that are happening now are coming to the for- the cosmic changes- not just Mother Earth- Tiamat- Sophia-

 

The wars are coming to an end- Cosmic wars too- all of them- the scum is being removed- the vibrational frequencies are lifting- all those who are ready must keep focused-- it is difficult -- but we must try very hard to stay on track or we risk the boat leaving us behind for another 75 thousand years or what ever-- I do not want to go through all this again- there are many out there that I have tried to help wake up- they just are not ready- they just wont listen- the time is now- if they wont or cant wake up then it is time to leave them to their own evolutionary path and stick with your own.

 

Look, I have kids too- they are grown young men now on their own path- I can see they are doing well- even awake enough to see certain things in this world that are not right-- so glad they chose me and their Mum to be parents.

 

I have said it before- we do not have the right to interfere in anothers path- even if it is our own kids,---we know that this is not the be all and end all of life- we are eternal beings and we just go on to another life or whatever you think you want to do, so if a family member of friend is not ready but you feel you are- well you have to decide if you go on or stay behind and wait for them to catch up.

 

 

I'll post this now where it is at the moment- coz its getting to difficult to share my thoughts with no sleep-- so much more to say but will do it another time when I feel better and have a clear head----love all you Chanites- we are here for a reason you know.

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Yet another amazing story full of detail and wisdom... Thank you Triton, I know how it feel to be exhausted and then trying to explain yourself it's so confusing at that certain point. Still i have to say that you are being honest with yourself and with us and no matter how old one is they still can learn if they look in the right places.... Many people tend to look outside the box or far away for answers and questions of what is exactly the truth.

I felt my life had been pointless a number of times and in certain situations when trying to express my feelings i was ashamed of even talking about these things as with they raised questions, for someone else they raised judgement. I could not really cope being the only one in my family to be such a weird and rational thinker i felt left out because of this voice that was telling me something but i could not exactly make out what.

 

I have been heavily depressed on the age of 16 diagnosed with Post traumatic stress disorder due personal events that happened to me. I am not religious because when the time came to ask for help from a outside force with tears in my eyes bending on my knees the only thing shining down on me was the sun on a monday morning, i skipped school most of the time the period i was depressed i felt helpless and such a easy target for anyone they felt my pain and abused it to make me even feel worse. But hey i wasn't going to stop i was not going to give up and throw my life down the drain.

I found hope and here is why, when you are depressed negativity races through your head yet you are aware of every single detail that is being said or has been said now if you manage to study every single detail that you think about 9 out of 10 times you will find the spark of hope that you need. I learned to not search any further for answers and that we as a human being are the answer to every single problem  there is, we forgot about our beauty and intellectual thoughts, we get down by a single mistaken word out of context... I learned to deal with this matters and set these destructive thoughts into hope.... because hope is a little ideal with a big impact and it makes your life so much joyable if you see a way out the dark forest.

 

 

Thank you for your post Triton. 

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Phew....Big hugs to you all, your stories and compassion and intellect leave me breathless and feeling like Im among kindred spirits

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A revolutionary change is upon us.

 

Note the financial crisis and the global outbreaks of the awaken, due to the tremendous problems in our social en financial life people are starting to wake up en refuse to life no longer a life of poverty, thus meaning stepping into action.... These wars against there government are emotional and harsh, yet they have impact. Sooner or later we might have to make our hands dirty and say we take this no longer, the mind games the governments play to treat people no longer as human beings but to treat them as garbage. We all feel a great change is coming and in my believe it's near a starting stage which you all can witness with more events involving more and more people who are sick and tired of the way they have been treated. I would call this global effectiveness, the more people who are being awaken and seen the cruel and judgemental world we life in the more brothers and sisters we have to fight a sick world who is destroying our lovely Mother Earth tree by tree. Fortunately we have come to a understanding in how sick these elite suits are and the more forcing human beings tell there stories agreeing they could not longer life such a lifestyle. This text is not only for motivation.... but also not to forget for what we are fighting for, and why we are all here. Never Run Never Hide Always Stand And Always Fight.

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